I really hate being grounded! I want to go hang out at joeys Iwant to do stuff with friends I want to get out of this fucking house!!! I want to go to the mall I want to go to the movies I want to go flirt with men who aren't de molay!! and I WANT A BOYFRIEND!! don't ask I just do it's a thing of mine or ya know a couple guys to date or w/e I don't care just arrg!! I just don't want joey to be my only source for that kind of thing I've moved on Joey just is joey now I mean I like himn like a really really really close friend but no more than that! that ship has sailed it is GONE but arrg!!! *frustration* I mean I like guys pleanty of them problem is I don't know what to say! why is it that I can help guys get girls but I can't help myself get guys!!?? it's pathetic and why the hell can't I stop thinking about joey?! it's driving me insane!! :( if anyone has any answers please clue me in!!

courtney

Dear Mandy,

yes you made my day!! that's soo awesome I can't even tell you how happy that makes me Brandons just a sweetheart and I'm happy he finally found someone!! you two are great for eachother. tee hee I guess I'll be seeing you in algebra! I love you mandy sue!

courtney

p.s. my middle name is rose

hey everyone

yeah I'm in a better mood infact I'm in a good mood I finally feel like I'm goinrg to have my own identity again. no longer joey's girlfriend but Courtney I mean I'm not sure how this whole Joey situation is going to end up I mean I like him a lot but Idk if he really likes me all that much anymore :( well w/e works if I'm not right for him I'm right for someone else and all I have to do is find that person and in the meantime I'll just have fun flirting and repairing broken friendships that can still be repaired and just being Courtney instead of someone else :) besides I am still grounded until ironically enough Joey's birthday which I'm not even sure I'm invited to. other than joey I competed in the miss colorado job's daughter pageant on saturday, I didn't win but I had an okay time I hung out with people I usually don't hang out with and I apologized to someone whom I really don't like and now we're on a "agree to disagree"  ground which is better than "I hate your guts and want to kill you" kind of thing. He's the only one whose ever told me I'm immature....strange lol the one person I thought I hated is actually the one person who is different from everyone else. lol oh well he's not my problem and I'll let it stay that way. well today I'm going to denver for a sweetheart meeting it should be fun since theres no ritual and I don't have to wear a dress or robes!! :D well I better get going I don't want to go there looking like I do right now lol I'll talk to y'all later!

love always

courtney

hey guys,

sorry it's been a while well I'm grounded I'm not aloud to hang with any friends or talk to neone on the phone but other than that I'm home free funny thing is I'm ungrounded on Joeys birthday lol I'd rather not disclose details but neway. well I better jet I can't think of nething else to type

love always

courtney

ARRRG !  MEN ARE SO FUCKING AGRAVATING!!! I MEAN THEY ACT ALL LOGICAL AND THEN THEY CAN'T FUCKING SEE WHAT IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM!! I MEAN MY GOD!!! CAN'T THEY FUCKING KNOW WHAT THEY HAVE?! OR DO THEY JUST HAVE TO LOSE IT BEFORE THEY'RE DUMBASS MIND CLEARS!!?? GOD I JUST WANT TO FUCKING KILL HIM!!! ARRG!!! WHY DOES FUCKING LOVE HAVE TO  BE SO INCREDIBLY FUCKING HARD FOR PEOPLE TO STAND!!! WHY CAN'T HE JUST SEE!!! WELL I'M NOT GOING TO WAIT  FOR HIM FOR LONG!! IF HE CAN'T FUCKING GROW UP AND KNOW WHAT HE'S FEELING I'M NOT GOING TO FUCKING WASTE MY TIME WAITING FOR HIM TO WAKE UP AND SMELL THE ROSES!!! DAMN FUCKING MEN CONTROLLED BY WHATS UNDER THEIR PANTS BECAUSE WHAT THEY ACTUALLY FEEL IS JUST TO FUCKING CLEAR AND THEY CALL US PUSSIES? THEY'RE THE WIMPS!!! I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF A GUY CAN BEAT UP THE STRONGEST GUY IN THE WORLD IF HE CAN'T HANDLE HIS FEELINGS AND KNOW WHAT HE'S  FEELING NO MATTER HOW OLD HE IS HE'S THE FUCKING WIMP!!! SOME GUYS JUST NEED TO GROW UP AND ACTUALLY REALIZE THEIR IN LOVE IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW FUCKING OLD YOU ARE 16 OR 36 YOU ONLY FALL IN LOVE ONCE AND IF YOUR FUCKING STUPID ENOUGH NOT TO REALIZE IT WHEN IT HAPPENS THEN YOU DON'T DESERVE WHAT YOU HAVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO FUCKING GROW SOME BALLS AND QUIT BEING SUCH A FUCKING PUSSY!!!!!!

this is a rant inspired by severe anger in the real world this should not be taken at face value but rather thought about anyone who has been hurt in a relationship can relate to it and anyone who is in love should be grateful they don't have to experience this aggravation thankyou for taking time to pay attention to a broken hearted girl who is tortured by knowledge the one she loves possess's but is too ignorant and afraid to realize about himself have a good day/evening/afternoon

Courtney